My Little Jesus

Title: My Little Jesus

Thirty-five years ago, at the age of twenty, my life had taken a nose dive and I found myself very sick and house-bound.

In those days of rabbit ears that offered only three TV channels, life got real boring for me, and I had a lot of time to think about my life. During that time, two friends of mine came by to visit me. They did not collaborate, but the intention of their visits were the same: to share with me their own unique experience with Jesus.

I had heard about him of course. I grew up in a denominational church. I celebrated his birthday on December 25. I felt bad about his death on Good Friday, and was glad he rose from the dead on Easter Morning. I especially liked that day because I ate a lot of candy in his honor. In other words, I was glad for Jesus, but it meant nothing to me personally and the holidays were a brief respite from an otherwise boring church life.

My Jesus was a “little” Jesus.

One evening I was in despair for my young life and decided that I should pray. On my knees I went and spoke out loud to Jesus. I said, “If you are real and you are who you say you are, then please come into my heart. I’m not sure what that means, but I know I need you. If you’re not real, then I guess I’ll try something else. Amen.”

I got up, and lay in bed—waiting. Nothing happened so I fell asleep. The next morning I awoke to a wonderful surprise—it is still hard for me to describe.

I could see—from the inside out! Oh, my eyes had always worked, but this sight was different. It was if I was awakened on the inside. It was as if I was barely experiencing life and now someone had turned the light switch on!

There were a couple things I intuitively knew to be true: First, Jesus was real. Secondly, God was Papa. Thirdly, I was alive, and I knew I was supposed to be alive! My Jesus just got bigger!

Over the years I have watched my Jesus get bigger and bigger until lately he boggles my little mind. You see, that had always been the problem—Mike’s little mind. Jesus was always a big Jesus, but my little mind defined Him instead of Jesus expanding my little mind.

I have realized that it was not a matter of me inviting Jesus into my little life, but Jesus inviting me into His life! And oh what a life it is!

I was twenty years old when I had that experience. In retrospect, I now understand that He had been attempting to reach me in so many ways, I just did not know His voice and could not see the work of His hands in my life.

I was sharing in His life and could not appreciate it because I thought it was my life. But all along, I was living in His life.

I know that might not sound like good theolgy, as far as theology goes, but I know Jesus is way bigger than our exclusive thinking. His love is way deeper and way wider than any of us can imagine.

I really don’t want the Jesus of my imagination or of my little thinking or a Jesus shaped by my circumstances.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His suffering.”

I think Paul kept experiencing a bigger Jesus. I think Jesus kept blowing his mind. I think he began to realize that Jesus was bigger than any religion or theology or movement or anything human that would limit him. He was willing to be known for one thing—he was following this Jesus, the Light of the Cosmos.

Some people think that God can’t or won’t reach us—but a big Jesus clothed Himself with humanity and came to us all—Emmanuel, God with us.

Some people think that there is limited space in heaven and that most of our race won’t make it in—how big is their Jesus?

Some people think that those who have never heard the gospel will not make it to heaven—how big is their Jesus?

Some people think the world is out of control and we are all doomed—how big is their Jesus?

Some people think their particular church is the pillar of all truth—geez—how big is their Jesus?

Some people think that God’s plan to save humankind is limited to their missionary work—wow—how big is their Jesus?

You may be in the worst situation of your life and have given up on the Jesus that you think you've known---truth be told, all of us are just awakening to who He really is, and He is way bigger than the Jesus we now know.